Is there a word in the English language that combines the feelings of both excitement and anxiety? Besides the word marriage, I can't think of one. The reason I'm asking is I need to describe how I feel about my intuitive abilities. My feelings are so mixed. They wax and wane. They keep me awake with anticipation. They wear me out with fear. They give me hope that I have finally found the reason for my existence. They give me bad dreams.
Over the last several weeks I have been seeking guidance on what I am to autograph. The information I have gathered so far is that I am to be a successful writer and have a blog or social media project of some sort. I have been a closet writer for most of my life (some people pretend to be rock stars in the shower, I pretend I’m a successful writer in my office) so this didn’t seem too far off base except for the fact that I am chicken shit. Chicken shit to share my writing that is.
Last night I had the most vivid and disturbing sexual dream about Lance Armstrong. The dream was so disturbing, in fact, that I didn’t write it down. For starters I am not the least bit attracted to Lance Armstrong. Second, the shorts. Lastly, it did not appear to have anything to do with my writing.
I continued on my morning routine of soul searching, attempting to push the naked visions of Lance out of my head. Flipping through one of my old journals the word “blog” popped off the page. What is this? Did I write this? Yes, it is my handwriting.(Duh!) It was last years summary of my psychic reading that told me I was going to start a social media project and be a successful writer. The left side journal page had a dream entry with Message: Write in large letters under it. This prompted me to google “start a blog”.
Click on second entry.
Find, “10 Most Famous Multi Million Dollar Bloggers.”
Color me intrigued. Click on it.
Huffington Post…makes sense.
“Armstrong” pops off the page. It’s the name of an individual, not a large corporation and well, you know the name Armstrong is burnt into my brain.
I click on it.
It seems that one Heather Armstrong has made a name for herself, helped coin a new phase and….AND… its making a nice salary…all starting by blogging!
We can't always choose our sex dream partners but we can choose to look deeper into ourselves using a myriad of sources. Sometimes life needs to disturb us in order for us to start/keep looking. I hope I can help you discover some of them here as I take you on my blogging journey. My hope is to empower you to do some soul searching of your own, sans bike shorts.