Stillness, Silence and Aloneness, Oh My!

Here is a comment on my "3 Easy Steps to Getting Clarity" post

Does the thought of meditation scare you?

Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Does the thought of sitting still make your skin crawl?
Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Does the thought of being alone make you want to cry?
Stillness, silence and aloneness, on my!

My business mind could not be still, nor allow being alone and not thinking.  I took pride in my multi-tasking ability.  Raising a family, running multiple businesses, designing buildings and luxury properties, throwing parties, spending time with friends, attending charity events, and volunteering at my children’s school meant not time for such things. I was living the dream.  

As a child I was quiet and compliant. By putting my energy into playing sports I received some validation. I learned early on that by doing, by getting up early, by working your fingers to the bone it was a measurement of your worthiness.  So I put myself through college, working hard, trying to prove to myself and others that I was worthy.  Not knowing myself, decisions were based on input from other people. I spent a good portion of my life creating places, businesses, planning events and controlling situations to ensuring my life looked a certain may.

To me, being alone was a pathetic place of nothingness. It use to scare me enough to make me cry just thinking about being alone.  I didn’t need to be with people 24/7 but having many people in my life was important to me. Certainly, I was alone at times which was okay but I would plan an event or find ways to bring my team or friends together. Having a group of people I cared for meant they cared for me and the more I had the better I felt about myself. I became really busy creating the life I thought I wanted or the life I should have. Other people’s happiness became a gauge in which I measured myself and my own happiness. I had no idea of what I really wanted or what brought me joy other than the happy faces I saw in the people around me.   

I was successful and creative in my efforts but rarely did I feel acknowledged, appreciated or loved.  After creating so much beauty in my life and having what I would consider success, I was still depressed, lonely and incredibly sad.  No amount of money, jewelry or success made me happy nor did I feel any more validation or worth. I was still feeling alone.

For years I saw therapist and read every self-help book. I continued to seek out the answers through every means available to me including hypnosis, journaling, dieting, (oh if I was just thinner I’d be loved)  but I did not understand what was wrong with me.  I considered antidepressants but I wanted the answers to the problem, not a drug.  I was scared, hurting, depressed and I felt lonely. I went on creating more and doing more, hoping this would bring the love, the trust, and the life we wanted together.  No amount of work or creating made a difference and my marriage came crumbing down.

Without a partner, someone to count on, someone to fill in the proverbial “in case of emergency” line on documents I felt alone.   Honestly I am not sure I really felt it I was just afraid of what that meant in my own eyes.  Being alone meant such an ugly tale and meant no one loved me.  I felt the need to be acknowledged in having a relationship.  Sounds weird, but I didn’t want to be the single girl when all her friends were in relationships.  I felt pathetic in family photos without a man standing next to me, validating that I was worthy. Exhaustion, numbness and a sensation of living outside of myself became my new existence. I started to mediate because multiple doctors said “slow down, reflect and mediate”.  I n the past I had tried it, including hiring someone to help me as my mind just would race. This time the need was more urgent.

A turning point for me was learning a releasing technique called the Sedona Method which is a form of meditation. This is when I began to discover who I was and started to deal with my fears of being alone and what that meant to me. Clarity came gradually and seemed to be in tune with how much I spent releasing, meditating and allowing.  With clarity came tears and cleansing of things that I needed to let go of and allow them to be as they are.  It’s not easy but it has gotten easier with practice.  Now I am able to recognize the feeling of needing to be alone and I enjoy my time alone reading a book or doing absolutely nothing.

There is nothing wrong with me, nothing wrong with you and what we all seek is pure love from ourselves.  From learning about life lessons in numerology, releasing and meditating, I know now this was part of my life path. What I have learned is that answers come from your heart not your mind.  The ego is strong and your mind can trick you into thinking there is something to fear. 

Are you afraid of ghoulish answers that will be revealed in stillness and silence?  Fear not! As clarity, love, joy and peace will come in time.   With meditation and years of mentorship from my dear friend Kim and from spiritual guidance by Tricia Gunberg, clarity, love, joy, peace, and all the things I have been seeking are now unfolding.   Thank you to these two wonderful mentors I feel so blessed.

Happy Halloween! Do not let your mind trick you, instead treat yourself to some alone time.

Beverly Vaughn

November Free Monthly Guidance

 November, taking the 11th place in the year, reminds us to be grateful. The energy of the number 11 is the most intuitive of all of them. The 11th day of this month offers a double dose of intuitive energy.  Sit on this day, it falls on a Tuesday, and ponder your dreams. If you are not sure how to begin, just ask “What do I want?”  While we know we need to be grateful and assuming you spend more than the fourth Thursday of November to feel that, consider what does make you happy so that your gratefulness can grow.

For my guidance this month, I have asked how you can be supported as you in reflecting on what you truly want.

To calculate your Life Path Number, add all the digits of your birthdate until you get a single digit. For example November 30, 1975 is calculated: 1+1+3+1+9+7+5 = 27,  2+7 = 9. This person’s Life Path Number is a 9 so they would scroll down to "9" to find the Numeroscope message. For those working the 10, 11 or 12 path, I have added those.

1 Life Path- (Creativity and Confidence) – Walk. This is a great way to burn off extra energy so that you can sit in quiet reflection. Being out in nature during those walks will also help you to connect.

2 Life Path-(Cooperation and Balance)- Love. We forget to trust our heart. Please choose love, look from love, accept love.

3 Life Path- (Expression and Sensitivity) -Commitment. Getting what we want and being in joy requires a commitment.

4 Life Path- (Stability and Process) -Easy Does It. You are getting in your own way. Stop trying so hard.

5 Life Path- (Freedom and Discipline) -Stop. Stop seeing yourself as a victim. Stop finding someone to blame.  

6 Life Path- (Vison and Acceptance) -Travel. You will find renewal and revival on vacation.  

7 Life Path- (Trust and Openness) -New. You will move to a new location with positive results.

8 Life Path- (Abundance and Power) -Change. You are ready for a big life change.

9 Life Path- (Integrity and Wisdom) -Faith. Your desires and blessings just require that you believe in them.

11 Life Path- (Double Creativity and Confidence) -Healing. You have healing abilities that you can use for any situation and helping others.

12 Life Path-(Creative Cooperation)- Hello!  Saying good-bye to the old is hard but saying hello to the new is exciting.

You have the power and the 11 month will support you in creating a life you are truly grateful for.

Love and Light,

Tricia

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3 Easy Steps to Getting Clarity in Your Life

When your mind is boggled to the point you know it is having an effect on your health. When you wish you could make a decision but cannot. When someone or something is frustrating you to no end. Most likely you already know that meditation can help you. If the mere mention of meditating sends an awful sensation through your body. If it is like knowing you need to eat more fruit and veggies and you just can’t get yourself to do it.  Or as a person shared with me, “I feel anxiety and I want to cry just thinking about alone time. I have a “soul-ution” for you. (A solution for your soul.)  

You just need to carve out some alone time for yourself. That is all.

I can hear some of you laughing as if time alone was a luxury you cannot afford or even fathom. For others, time alone might make you so squirrely, you think it’s a mild form of torture. Time alone is very important- everyone needs it. If you are ready to honor yourself and find some clarity start with these 3 simple steps.

1. Create time for yourself

All you need to do is ask for it. Ask yourself. Ask your kids. Ask your spouse. Ask the Universe. They may even be able to help you figure out where to find it. If you currently can only take 5 minutes on a Thursday that is a good place to start.

      2. Take 5-10 minutes of alone time, with no distractions

If being still and quiet is uncomfortable at first, do an activity. Writing, drawing or another expressive art form can free your mind. Add moments where you just breathe and notice.  Notice your thoughts. Notice sensations in your body. Notice sounds around you. Notice, then let them go. Maybe write down some of your recurring thoughts to quiet them. Talk to yourself as if you were a dear old friend: How are you really? What do you need today? And so on.

       3. Allow any feelings, sensations and thoughts that you are having,do not judge them

One of the first meditation groups I attended, I cried most of it. It was so weird. Tears just streamed down my face and they would not stop. At the time I wasn’t aware of any sadness. As I allowed myself (I would have been more embarrassed to disturb people by leaving the room.) to cry, it felt more like a release. Crying is natural and cleansing. Emotions are natural and usually fleeting. Please allow yourself to have them, then let them go.

For me my meditation practice is evolving just as my fitness regimen had many years ago. Start with small amounts of time, as you would with a new  fitness program and add on to frequency and duration. Sit outside as often as you can. Near a garden or moving water is a bonus! My meditation practice started with a weekly meditation group. I could hardly stand the 4o minutes at first. Then I used the buddy system to add to the frequency. Most of the time I can sit for 15 minutes, sometimes I do not worry about the clock and go by how I feel. Occasionally, I sneak in a moment or two, in my car or bathroom, taking a few deep breathes and repeat a mantra. When I get the chance to participate in a guided meditation (my favorite) one hour can slip away and feel like 10 minutes! When I am not feeling well I sit and repeat positive “I am” statements; I am wellness, I am health.  My personal goal is to meditate every day.  Although I do start the day with a morning intention I created for myself- I do not count that. After two years, I am up to an average of 3 times a week without thinking too much about it.

 Once you begin taking time alone on a regular basis and it is a habit your next step will be to take away the activities. Sit comfortably and just breathe. Don’t worry about meditating just yet. Enjoy this piece of heaven you deserve.

 Caution: Be aware that time alone can also cause a sense of peace, moments of bliss and sparks of intuition.

How much time alone do you need? This is a process that could take you years to figure out if you currently have no idea. Don’t judge yourself about that please, it’s not a race. If you have not tuned into yourself or have just starting, there will be much you’ll become aware of.  A family vacation could set you backwards, a retreat may propel you forward. As the amount of time each person needs varies, so does length of your process. It will be your own.

 There is a higher intelligence out there and your higher –self. If you can be quiet enough for long enough, you will be able to tap into that intelligence.

More on this to come.

Love and Light,

Tricia

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Connecting Intutitive Abilities

My ability to get information (readings in the form of feelings, sensations, visions and sounds) on my Reiki clients came to me this last May, after about 30 healing sessions. In the beginning my Reiki healings were directed by an internal sound signal. With this new communication that my hands were getting, I quickly realized the purpose of my self- induced study of dreams, the body/mind connection, oracle cards and Numerology. In order to make sense of the information I was getting I surrounded myself with all my resources; books, computer, notes and oracle cards. I realize now that those resources were just training wheels.

 At the Angel Intuitive Training in Maui this past weekend, we were asked to turn to our neighbor, exchange names and give a quick reading. I gave my very first reading without my training wheels, followed by many more successful readings done in the same manner.  All of the readings I did were enjoyable, but the second one stands out most in my mind. 

 Susan and I sat facing each other with knees touching. I closed my eyes and began to breath. Telling myself whatever needs to happen will happen. I instinctively raised my hands towards her. (This was my Reiki training kicking in.) As I was telling myself that this was not part of the instructions I was given, immediately I was struck with severe hunger pains. "Are you hungry?" I asked. "Starving," she said. While we discussed this we connected her actual hunger with her emotional hunger. Next, I felt intense heat coming from the top of her head. “Anger,” I said. “Blow your top off anger. Why are you angry?” We were able to talk through it and release it. Most of my Reiki clients report feeling heat from my hands but this was the first time I felt heat. Susan and I talked through a few more “hits”. I checked the top of her head again- the heat had dissipated. With tears in her eyes she thanked me telling me how much better she felt.

 Midway through this reading an awareness came over me that Reiki healing energy was flowing, although I had not called it in. This takes my natural ability to an entirely different level. Note that I did ask Susan if she wanted help healing and releasing but we were using the method that we were instructed to use not “Reiki”. It would appear to me that a higher intelligence- the one that graced me with these abilities-was at work here.

I continue to be amazed by this intuitive journey and what this higher intelligence has in store for me. Having a creative mind that is always coming up with fresh and exciting ideas pales in comparison to what happens when I just allow. Trust me when I say, not figuring out everything and allowing Spirit to guide me is not scary and it is way more exciting than what my brain can come up with.  I am so glad that I am finally getting out of my own way.

With gratitude toward Doreen Virtue and all of her staff , I report to you that making these connections between my healing ability and reading abilities was monumental. Filled with more confidence than ever I am even more eager to help others.

Love and Light,

Tricia

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