Free Winter Solstice Reading (December 21, 2014)

The shortest day of the year, reminds me of the quote from Thomas Fuller, “It is always the darkest before the dawn.” (Scientifically this is not true. It is darkest at 180 degrees.) For the Solstice, the darkest day gives way to increasingly more light. As a metaphor, it offers encouragement to those who experience darkness in their lives. For some this encouragement (light) is God, therapy, sobriety, truth or another choice that brings them out. 

With this in mind I pulled cards.

Past: You refused to take any responsibility for a bad situation. You believe all the negative criticism you have heard in your life, from yourself or others.  NOTE: this is the darkness

Present: Cut the crap! Stop denying any truth. Confront inaccuracies. Note: this is the light coming in.

Future: Victory. The chance to put it all together and create something special is upon you. Note: This is the dawn, using your truth for a brighter day.

 Summary: When you find yourself in a situation
you do not like, explore it by asking yourself questions about it. Try as hard as you can to
be honest with yourself about it. When you are
able to get to the core, it will not have the same effect as it did initially and chances are you will
feel victorious.

 If you’d like to know how I worked with it please read on.

My thoughts:

Past: Well! Excuse me! It wasn’t my fault that many people in my life have been crazy critical!  Combining some *Ho'oponopono and tapping techniques I have learned I explored my reaction by asking myself questions like: “Am I responsible for this?”  and “Is this true?" The conclusion I came to was that other people’s behavior had nothing to do with me. I just needed to chill out, do the best I could and not worry. Why couldn’t I do this in the past? Blaming people didn’t do me any good, no matter how justified.

And, crud! Why do I criticize myself so much? Why do I replay the criticism from others? My anger at others was just anger at myself. “Stop saying all those mean things! It won’t help to beat me down!” As a teacher I dealt with the old name calling daily: “so-n-so called me do-do head”. It was at about the 1000th time hearing my response that it dawned on me that I was talking to myself. “Is that true? Are you a do-do head?” They would always say very confidently, “No, I am not.”

Present: Truth? The truth is I am an intelligent, creative, contentious person. Most of the criticizing I received in the past was not true but I allowed it to effect me down to the core. Current truth exploration is helping me discover things that make my heart sing. This leaves less room for criticism.

Future: Now that I have decided to apply truth to situations that cause friction and take responsibility for everything that goes on in my life, I have found greater success in alleviating it. This combined with a better understanding of who I am is leading to victory.   

Love, Light and the strength to see it,

Tricia

*More on this to come.

December Free Monthly Guidance

 As the last month brings the year to a close, the 7 energy of trust and openness that 2014 has is still heavy in the air. Trust is having confidence that no one will hurt us, shame us or steal from us. Or in some cases, allowing openness (telling our truth as we understand it) and having faith that we can handle the result. This does not come easy. The world has seen many “truths” uncovered these last eleven months. Shining its light on domestic violence and acquaintance rape among them. While you may be looking upon the next several weeks as something to endure, I  hope that you hear that voice in your head. The one that asks “Why am I doing this? “ “Why am I stressing out?” or “Why do I do that?” My wish for you is that you find your own truth through those questions and gain the faith to express it. 

Currently my dreams have indicated that I have a truth to uncover. I understand my need for support, trust and faith to uncover it. Knowing this I have included that in my intent for this month’s guidance.  I have asked that the “7” energy of truth and openness flows through us and allow us to feel the support that is being offered to us.   

To calculate your Life Path Number, add all the digits of your birthdate until you get a single digit. For example November 30, 1975 is calculated: 1+1+3+1+9+7+5 = 27,  2+7 = 9. This person’s Life Path Number is a 9 so they would scroll down to "9" to find the Numeroscope message.

1 Life Path- (Creativity and Confidence) – Goodbye and Hello! Many important life lessons along with the wisdom you have gathered is here to carry you through. New people, new work and new situations.

2 Life Path-(Cooperation and Balance)-It is now safe to leave all unhealthy situations. The insight acquired this past year is key to your support system. You have all the support you need now.  

3 Life Path- (Expression and Sensitivity) –Take time to make decisions this month. Do some research, ask others and the Universe for guidance. Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t turn out like you “thought”.

 4 Life Path- (Stability and Process) – A relationship commitment is pending. Could be work or personal and require building.

5 Life Path- (Freedom and Discipline) – Give up your need to control. Ask yourself, “What is it that I want?” Then allow those desires to attract what you need.

6 Life Path- (Vison and Acceptance) – Reaching goals take practice. Set many little ones and then big ones. Ahem…accept help in achieving them!

7 Life Path- (Trust and Openness) -Affirmations. Review the past year. What are your strengths? Use these to create your own affirmations and use them daily.

8 Life Path- (Abundance and Power) – Forgiveness. In order for you to feel the abundance of 2015, you need to release old anger for it is blocking the flow. Note that it could be yourself you need to forgive.

9 Life Path- (Integrity and Wisdom) –Ask for what you want. Here is the rub; do you KNOW what you want?  

You have the power and the 12th month’s energy behind you. I have a feeling that 2015 (8 energy of abundance and power) will knock our socks off so let’s get ready.

Love and Light,

Tricia

Need assistance getting alone time? Maybe this can help:

Love and Light,

Tricia

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Stillness, Silence and Aloneness, Oh My!

Here is a comment on my "3 Easy Steps to Getting Clarity" post

Does the thought of meditation scare you?

Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Does the thought of sitting still make your skin crawl?
Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Stillness, silence and aloneness, oh my!
Does the thought of being alone make you want to cry?
Stillness, silence and aloneness, on my!

My business mind could not be still, nor allow being alone and not thinking.  I took pride in my multi-tasking ability.  Raising a family, running multiple businesses, designing buildings and luxury properties, throwing parties, spending time with friends, attending charity events, and volunteering at my children’s school meant not time for such things. I was living the dream.  

As a child I was quiet and compliant. By putting my energy into playing sports I received some validation. I learned early on that by doing, by getting up early, by working your fingers to the bone it was a measurement of your worthiness.  So I put myself through college, working hard, trying to prove to myself and others that I was worthy.  Not knowing myself, decisions were based on input from other people. I spent a good portion of my life creating places, businesses, planning events and controlling situations to ensuring my life looked a certain may.

To me, being alone was a pathetic place of nothingness. It use to scare me enough to make me cry just thinking about being alone.  I didn’t need to be with people 24/7 but having many people in my life was important to me. Certainly, I was alone at times which was okay but I would plan an event or find ways to bring my team or friends together. Having a group of people I cared for meant they cared for me and the more I had the better I felt about myself. I became really busy creating the life I thought I wanted or the life I should have. Other people’s happiness became a gauge in which I measured myself and my own happiness. I had no idea of what I really wanted or what brought me joy other than the happy faces I saw in the people around me.   

I was successful and creative in my efforts but rarely did I feel acknowledged, appreciated or loved.  After creating so much beauty in my life and having what I would consider success, I was still depressed, lonely and incredibly sad.  No amount of money, jewelry or success made me happy nor did I feel any more validation or worth. I was still feeling alone.

For years I saw therapist and read every self-help book. I continued to seek out the answers through every means available to me including hypnosis, journaling, dieting, (oh if I was just thinner I’d be loved)  but I did not understand what was wrong with me.  I considered antidepressants but I wanted the answers to the problem, not a drug.  I was scared, hurting, depressed and I felt lonely. I went on creating more and doing more, hoping this would bring the love, the trust, and the life we wanted together.  No amount of work or creating made a difference and my marriage came crumbing down.

Without a partner, someone to count on, someone to fill in the proverbial “in case of emergency” line on documents I felt alone.   Honestly I am not sure I really felt it I was just afraid of what that meant in my own eyes.  Being alone meant such an ugly tale and meant no one loved me.  I felt the need to be acknowledged in having a relationship.  Sounds weird, but I didn’t want to be the single girl when all her friends were in relationships.  I felt pathetic in family photos without a man standing next to me, validating that I was worthy. Exhaustion, numbness and a sensation of living outside of myself became my new existence. I started to mediate because multiple doctors said “slow down, reflect and mediate”.  I n the past I had tried it, including hiring someone to help me as my mind just would race. This time the need was more urgent.

A turning point for me was learning a releasing technique called the Sedona Method which is a form of meditation. This is when I began to discover who I was and started to deal with my fears of being alone and what that meant to me. Clarity came gradually and seemed to be in tune with how much I spent releasing, meditating and allowing.  With clarity came tears and cleansing of things that I needed to let go of and allow them to be as they are.  It’s not easy but it has gotten easier with practice.  Now I am able to recognize the feeling of needing to be alone and I enjoy my time alone reading a book or doing absolutely nothing.

There is nothing wrong with me, nothing wrong with you and what we all seek is pure love from ourselves.  From learning about life lessons in numerology, releasing and meditating, I know now this was part of my life path. What I have learned is that answers come from your heart not your mind.  The ego is strong and your mind can trick you into thinking there is something to fear. 

Are you afraid of ghoulish answers that will be revealed in stillness and silence?  Fear not! As clarity, love, joy and peace will come in time.   With meditation and years of mentorship from my dear friend Kim and from spiritual guidance by Tricia Gunberg, clarity, love, joy, peace, and all the things I have been seeking are now unfolding.   Thank you to these two wonderful mentors I feel so blessed.

Happy Halloween! Do not let your mind trick you, instead treat yourself to some alone time.

Beverly Vaughn